Trigun Reunion
by Puchiko2
Summary: Vash, Meryl, Millie and Knives plan a Reunion of all the people they've met through the episodes, but PLEASE don't read this unless you love random, senseless things. Rated for language :D
1. The Invitations

[A/N:: ha, ha... yes, I'm laughing you dolt, I'm laughing at your doltiness! For all you pitiful souls who have author alert and are now viewing pure torture... and are now closing this window, I'm not going to say hello to you, you meany! Hey... it isn't easy writing serious fanfictions not all the time! SEE WHAT HAPPENED? I'm not making sense of thing what I do no more! Yes yes... enjoy, enjoy... my second Trigun fanfiction!! BOOM CRACKLE! no that was not rice krispies! Stupid Microsoft word, Trogon is not the correct spelling of Trigun! Rambles on for 5 more pages]  
  
"talking"  
  
'thoughts'  
  
[me... or you can call it NOOOOO when it comes up like the others have]  
  
anddddddddd... dots mean I have lack of endings!

* * *

**Chapter 1, The Invitations  
**  
In a small house, yes a house, the threes company too- I mean Vash, Millie and Meryl were trying to make invitations, the key word here is trying.  
  
"The pen isn't working!" Millie shouted, throwing the object at the TV, wait they have a TV?!  
  
Vash pulls out science valves, does all that sciencey stuff and... HYPOTHESIS!! "... I do believe that was a pencil, and you were writing with an eraser!"  
  
"Oh now aren't you two smart!" Meryl said, realizing she was writing with the eraser as well.  
  
"Sempai?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"How do you spell Zazi za beasto?" [Yes, Microsoft thinks it's supposed to be spelt Nazi!]  
  
She gave that whole you know, face thing type of look "Wait, why are you sending a letter to a dead kid?! Wait, he IS a kid right?"  
  
"Aw does that mean Legato's out of the question?" Vash said crying at the full-length letter he wrote to Legato.  
  
"He's not dead, wait till five 'o clock since it's the weekend" Meryl said pointing at the hole in the floor.  
  
Knives fell out of the closet. A full summery of his setting fit into a sentence "I told you stupid things to board up that hole! Legato's not the only one who comes up that hole you know!"  
  
Millie pulled the pencil out of the TV and started to scribble onto a piece of paper "There!" Millie placed a piece of paper that said 'Don't come through unless you brought pudding' onto the hole, which eventually fell into the hole, leaving everyone in an akward silence.  
  
"Is it just me, or did anyone else notice that it took 10 seconds for that little piece of paper to fall into the Legato sized hole?" Vash said, and dropped a blank piece of paper into the hole. No reason, he just felt like it.  
  
Meanwhile, inside the ground-thing  
  
"Hey, who wants to hear me play the muffin man song, saxophone-style!" Midvalley cried to the others, yes the others, who else?  
  
And now since I'm bored of talking about people in the dirt, back to the house.  
  
"We Just got a letter! We just got a letter! We just got a-"shoots joe with a gun, which from this point on doesn't exist [Not that house, you stupid, wait, me. Ok fine]  
  
"Greetings, it is now five oh clock! Do you know where your kids are? I know... they're stealing Lucky Charms... but oh, go ahead and mock th- hey I made some pie" Legato's head was visible through the hole.  
  
"If you just ignore him for awhile, he finally goes to his point about being here," Meryl said ducking behind the couch with the others.  
  
Millie was practically in flames by now screaming, "WHERE THE HELL IS THE PUDDING YOU PIECE OF-"Happy little sign pops up 'Legato's allergic to pie! '  
  
"Oh dear, I'm defying all laws of gravity aren't I?" Legato said, but then forgot, and flew out of the floor, yes the FLOOR not hole, he created a NEW hole.  
  
"What..." Knives said, who was now helping out writing invitations. [Awwww how sweet, isn't that what you're thinking? No? Ok]  
  
Pretty much after that Legato was lying on the floor, still talking, while Vash was forced to board up the two legato sized holes. Millie, who was being restrained, by Meryl, from shooting Legato with her stungun, was swearing beyond the Authors vocabulary, oh yes... and that's pretty sad if you can imagine Millie swearing and Knives was trying to fold each letter into the envelope carefully, in which he gave up after five seconds and threw it at... um... some guy outside? Yeah, who then screamed about the pain, oh the pain.  
  
Vash, who was now done boarding up the holes, wondered what would happen to his hair if he touched a balloon.  
  
"I've got a balloon... and it's... orange!" Legato rolled over holding up his orange balloon.  
  
"Legato! Stop using your telekinesis powers!" Knives grabbed his balloon and popped it, awwwwwwww Legato and Vash started to cry!  
  
"Master... how can you have 500 Television channels and no remote?" Legato said as he sat on the couch, how he got there, I seriously don't know.  
  
But alas, Knives was in the closet again, doing... what people in closets do.  
  
Night came  
  
Finally, the invitations were sent and things were mildly settled down, mild like salsa, you know, not too hot but not too unspicy, but they're not Mexican so forget it.  
  
Legato found On Demand, which doesn't make sense how he found it without the remote "Can I watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force? It's a food show right?"  
  
The three people at the table gave him blank stares. Yes, Knives is still in the closet, so he doesn't count.  
  
"Th- that meatball's... dancing?!" Vash said confused, sitting on the couch as well.  
  
At that Legato stuck his head to the screen, trying to take in the beauty of the food, oh so beautiful.  
Millie threw an apple at Legato, well, I don't know if she was actually throwing it at Legato because it fell 5 inches away from her.  
  
Meryl, who for some reason was sleeping, fell out of the doorway. Yeah, she kinda woke up at that point, grabbed a- I mean THE toaster and ran back into her room.  
  
"What the hell is the toaster for?" Knives said, poking his head out of the closet.  
  
"Y-you don't want to know..." Vash said in a feeble position.  
  
"Shut up I'm watching Family Guy." Legato said pushing him off the couch. Vash, who found a crack in the floor, started poking his finger through. Eventually he got his finger stuck in the crack; it was a very small crack ok?  
  
Vash began flailing his arm "AHH FINGER! AHH THE CRACK!" But if you can realize how bad this sounds, you would understand why everyone scootched over away from Vash's direction.  
  
Finally sleep took over the house, still leaving Poor Vash the Stampede's finger in the crack.  
  
To Be Continued... will Vash ever get his finger out of the floor? Will we ever find out why Knives is in the closet all the time? Will they be ready in time for the reunion party? Will Microsoft EVER learn the grammar of Trigun?! Oh yes, and if you DON'T find this at all funny, please leave a review, and will never attempt to write a humor fanfiction EVER again, and will instantly delete this. 


	2. Party Time?

[A/N:: Back again? Well either you like this story or you pressed the hell button on your keyboard. Stupid Microsoft got lost in the internet void ::evil laugh:: so now I have an even worse program ::BOOM CRACKLE:: SHNAP! What? Never mind, on to the uh, oh yeah fan fiction. Go away rice krispies!]

* * *

"talking"  
  
'thoughts'  
  
[me... or you can call it NOOOOO when it comes up like the others have]  
  
anddddddddd... dots mean I have lack of endings!

* * *

**Chapter 2, Party Time?**

I'm hungry and I missed lunch, but this story isn't about me and it's breakfast time there. I'm hungry.

"What's for breakfast" Legato said standing upside down.

Knives, yet again fell out of the closet "I want eggs!"

"YOU'RE HAVING TOAST!" Meryl screamed, still holding the toaster.

Vash screamed, who had his whole body, except for his head, stuck inside a hole in the floor.

And as for Millie, she was brushing her teeth.

* * *

Vash, who somehow found his way about of the finger-sized hole, was now having a staring contest, at the window, with his good friend Brilliant Dynamites Neon.

"BEHOLD!" BDN shouted at the window "I NOW HAVE... hold on... NEON CHRISTMAS LIGHTS BWAHAHA!"

At that, Millie grabbed BDN, stuck him on the roof as a decoration while BDN was now talking about his pretty new "hot pink" neon lights.

"There goes guest number two" Knives said, trying to flip Legato back on his legs.

"No master, I must lose the circulation to my hands!"

"But standing on your head is going to GIVE your hands more circulation" Vash said from inside the washing machine.

Silence...

The door bell rang "I'll get it." Meryl said reaching out for the door.

"Badwick?!"

Apparently Badwick got plastic surgery, which caused him to lose his nose... and look like Michael Jackson.

"WIPE YOUR SHOES MISTER!" BDN shouted from the roof.

Everyone's faces resembled "The Scream" Especially Zazi the Beast, who was right behind Badwick.

"Nice to moles- I mean meet you young man" Badwick held out his hand to Zazi for a shake.

Millie grabbed a baby doll and handed it to Badwick, who quickly became amused.

* * *

A few hours later more guest arrived, including Wolfwood, Marianne Aura Cayzen, Kite, the rest of the gun ho guns and more random people who have names.

Yes, you guessed it, Knives once again fell out of the closet "Where's Legato..."

Vash raised an eyebrow "Eating toast why?"

Knives smirked and dragged Legato into the closet. Legato's screams being quickly heard around the room.

* * *

The doorbell rang again, which was quickly answered by Millie, "Hello- YEEEEEEEEEK!!!" Millie quickly slammed the door.

"Who was at the door?!" Wolfwood asked, just as shocked as the rest.

"An- an- ORGINAL CHARACTER!!" Millie curled up in a ball and shivered at the thought.

The whole room was in an uproar, who in their right minds would invite an original character into MY story?!

Vash tried to look innocent, but failed when he uddered "te he?"

Meryl handed Vash the toaster "Go to your room mister!"

As Vash left to think about what he had done, the whole room still lingered with the horror of the original character, but the silence was quickly broken with BDN's 99th verse of "I'm a lumberjack"

But what has become of the Original character...?

* * *

To Be Continued...

* * *

[A/N:: What happened to Legato? What's with the toaster? Who the hell is the original character?! Find out more next time in chapter... hold on ::counts:: THREE!!! ::BOOM!! KRACKLE:: I need new sound effects...]


	3. Chips and Dip

(A/N:: Wow, this is scary, but then again I'M scary (someone throws a conceited rock at me) GEEARGH! Oh, yeah back to what I was saying… I can't believe you all have read it this far, and frankly I'm scared, but then again… that sock in my closet scares me too!! Euergh! Gyarg! T-the rice krispies, they-they're gone!)  
**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Trigun, if i did, i'd talking in Japanese! Desu!

"talking"

'thoughts'

(me... or you can call it NOOOOO when it comes up like the others have)

anddddddddd... dots mean I have lack of endings!

* * *

**Chapter 3, Chips and Dip**

You know how if you use the toaster once, then use it twice it burns your toast? Well Vash soon found that out them experimenting with his… toast! (Please do not attempt, kiddies)

With Legato missing in the evil lair of Knives' closet, BDN stuck on the roof, and a few children running away from Badwick, things seemed to be falling apart in the party, including the roof, which collapsed under the weight of BDN.

"WHO HAS KILLED LEGATO?!" BDN shouted, well actually he always shouts. So lets say over expressive with his "special" tone of voice.

"Knives!" Millie said in her 'so-cheerful-that-it-hurts' tone of voice.

"I DIDN'T ASK **WHAT** KILLED LEGATO I SAID **WHO** KILLED LEGATO!" BDN shouted, while staring up at his pretty home decoration, better known as the hole in the roof. Yes, he has a very short attention span.

"Knives killed and stabbed Legato!" Millie said again, and- oh god, is her smile getting bigger?!

"NO! YOU PITIFUL NON ELECTRIC LIGHT FILLED BEING! I MEANT WHO KILLED LEGATO WITH KNIVES?!" He continued to say, but a few slices of burnt toast flew into the room and smacked him in the face, yet he didn't seem to notice it, he never notices toast on his face on Fridays… and maybe labor day.

"Hmm, nope! No one else was with Knives except Legato!"

"SO IT WAS SUCIDE?"

"No! Knives killed Legato, I already told you!" Millie was now beaming so hard, it hurt people's eyes, except for Midvalley. He was in the dirt.

At Millie's last remark, BDN's neon lights went black and he felt himself crawling into the punch bowl of confusion and sadness. Oh how sad, can't you just feel bitter tears welling up in your eyes?! THINK OF THE PUNCH!

Everyone soon agreed in silence that Knives should've been named anything BUT an eating utensil.

* * *

Another hour passed and Canine the Longshot was trying to have an engaging conversation with Kite. Unfortunately, his unfortunate past of unfortunacies kept his whole body bandaged up. Wait, how does he go to the bathroom anyway? 

"Uh, what about the ferry?" Kite said to the skinny, mummy-like man… or scary women, he didn't want to prove it either way.

"uem meft merry!" But of course, you all know he meant to say "I meant cherry"

"You've met Merry? I didn't even know he was attending this party!" Kite said looking around for Merry. Wait, who the hell is Merry?!

"mot eh hull yuf uckm asturdm!" Oh dear, seems our beloved Canine has a potty mouth.

"Pots are in his left master? Huh! I never would have guessed…" Kite replied, pondering for awhile. He continued to ponder while poor little Derick-I mean Canine the Longshot rolled around on the floor in frustration.

* * *

The party finally began to pick itself up and things were finally toast free from Vash's boredom. But on the outside of the house, that original character still stood outside the door and an evil aura formed around it… or maybe it just farted, I'm not too sure because I'm not smelling the story. 

"Get outta my way freak!" A pumpkin seller shouted at the OC, but alas, it didn't move! So the pumpkin seller ran over it, dropping a pumpkin on its head on the way, leaving the Original Character unconscious… and scented with a pumpkin aura…

To Be Continued…

* * *

(A/N:: Tee Hee! What intense fun huh? Is this the final curtain call for Legato? Or will there be an encore before the end of the theater? Why am I talking to you in Cinema talk?! And for good golly sakes, somebody please disinfect the punch!! (gets more conceited rocks thrown at me) Dagnabbit! Well, hope you painfully enjoyed reading this. Let me know what you think in a review, or maybe you'll find a conceited rock near a puddle of blood. Or something.) 


	4. The One And Only

**A/N:** But soft! What light through yonder window breaks! It is the east! And oh dagnabit… stop stalking me keebler elves! Can't you see that they created the rice krispie crew? GAH! Too much on my mind! So lets throw it into story form! Yee haw!)

'thoughts'

(me... or you can call it NOOOOO when it comes up like the others have)

anddddddddd... dots mean I have lack of endings!

* * *

**Chapter 4, The One and Only**

As a child, it may come to instinct that you don't poke your fork into a electrical outlet. Unless you're Vash, whom does the exact opposite… except that the fork is toast and the outlet is… **oh god**.

So what happened next? Well as I recall, three new guests arrived. Wait… never mind I don't know how to use the redial button. And rye.

A big man with a green Mohawk, long earlobes, a boomerang-blade weapon and tight clothing compiled of red and black was the first of the three quests to enter the house. Or rather the new hole in the doorway due to his ompa-lompa-gone-wrong appearance.

The second of guests… brought a nice cream puff pudding. Pudding skin. Oh yes. Uh, right, his appearance. Well from my god-like perspective on things, I could see that he had a long, brown, cape-like-coat with red on the inside. He was also carrying a long, thin, cross-like-gun. **Bajeebers** it's like describing a mixed breed here… well, I mean he is a bald human… potato… thing. RUN KURONEKO RUN!

Guest number three was… quite interesting. He wore a purple suit with a yellow shirt on the inside. He was, yes WAS, a slightly bald fellow with black hair. He giggled madly at the slightest mention of porn. Or was that corn? I always get the two mixed up.

So why did all these guests arrive at the same time? Well, either they stole my car keys or they stole my car keys and my trix cereal.

* * *

"Hey Vash!" Wolfwood called out, apparently drunk… off of… sniffing beer bottles.

"Yeah?" spoke Vash.

"Aloha!" spoke the ompa lompa.

"Huh?" spoke the bald potato.

"Yup?" spoke the corn freak.

"AAAAH! VASH THE STAMPEDE!" cried out the poor confused BDN. And then he ran back down to his hole in the ceiling.

Wolfwood looked around. Alas! Could he be… drunk! Was Vash the Stampede REALLY at the party! _GASP_! **No**!

Wait! And he remembered something else… wasn't there but _one_ Vash?

There was only one conclusion…

It was Halloween!

So off little Nick went, trick or treating at all the doors of the house.

* * *

"Hey! That's _my_ name!" Whined Vash

"What are you talking about? Everyone knows that **I** bought it off Ebay! It cost me 30 WHOLE double cents!" Oh yes, Mr. Ompa lompa brought up a good point. I once tried buying it for three and a half pennies, but alas… defeated by 30 double cents.

"Oh remarkable! But I wrote that name on my math test last week and got shot! That MUST make me Vash!" spoke the yellow haired bald guy.

And the purple suited guy- argh dammit he keeps rubbing my corn!

"Neh heh heh! Fools are all of you! For I am Stampede the Vash! Nwa ha ha ha!" spoke the corn thief.

Of course, everybody's favorite Insurance Girls would clear things up for us!

"Cream puff pudding! I ordered vanilla!" Millie said, rage from the edible puff substance.

And as for Meryl, she found the simple solution. (After a series of blueprints, that is) "Why, look! I do believe that's a mysterious crack in the floor."

"Oh goodie! Santa came with the ransom!" Vash said, running over, and cramming his finger into spaces in the floor that resembled cracks. The real Vash, ya hear, Gramps!

"**Pah**! Posers." Wolfwood said, in one of Vash's suits, still drunk as he collapsed out of the doorway of the closet. Knives was not a very happy evil butterfly after being violated of his personal closet space.

The lights went out and the doorbell rang. Something dark was coming… and it wasn't burnt toast.

* * *

**A/N**: I blame short attention spans. And pumpkins. Oh yes, and please review if you have the time… or if you own mushrooms. You know, rooms full of mush? Mmm hm.) 


End file.
